Review Pirates: Disney

Showing posts with label Disney. Show all posts

Thursday, January 29, 2015

You know what's fun? Video games. You know what's awesome? Pixar movies.

You already knew that though. But what happens when they cross over? No, I'm not talking about video games based off Pixar movies. That's boring.

I mean what happens when Pixar characters get reimagined as the heroes you take control of in games like the mega-intense stealth action thriller Metal Gear Solid or the post-apocalyptic survivalist ultra epic The Last of Us?

You get a big bag of AWESOME, that's what.

Digital artist Dwayne de Kock has put together a collection of super rad illustrations depicting some of your favorite Pixar characters remixed with mainstream video game titles. Check them out!

Street Fighter x The Incredibles

Mr. Incredible as Guile vs. Syndrome as Bison!

You know what's interesting about this Incredibles and Street Fighter crossover? Capcom (the developer of Street Fighter) has released some pretty iconic franchise mashup games, most notably their Marvel vs. Capcom series. Marvel is owned by Disney...nudge, nudge, wink, wink. How amazing would a Disney vs. Capcom fighting game be?! Disney/Marvel need to make that happen ASAP.

Toy Mass Story Effect

I'm Commander Lightyear and this is my favorite store on the Citadel

Buzz doesn't look awkward or out of place in Commander Shepard's N7 armor from Mass Effect. It actually suits him quite well to be honest; I kind of really want a Buzz Lightyear sci-fi action RPG now, where Shepard makes a cameo, and he Buzz are total bros.

Woody's Redemption

Woody depicted in the style of Red Dead Redemption's grizzled gunslinger who has been through tough times feels a bit off. Not even the alleged death of Bo Peep could turn this heroic cowboy into a rugged outlaw...or could it?

Shadow of the Chef

One of Pixar's best mixed with one of the most influential video games

Need a drink that pairs well with your Confit byaldi? Here's a good one: Combine 1 part influential video game (I recommend Shadow of the Colossuson Playstation 2) with 1 part Pixar magnificence (Ratatouille works perfect here), add in ½ part BOOYAH, 2 dashes of OHSNAP, mix, and enjoy!

Brave Raider

If Merida from Brave and Lara Croft from 2013's Tomb Raider reboot switched places, I actually think Merida would be the one who got the better end of the deal. Lara Croft trying to fend off medieval Scottish suitors? Now THAT would be one epic and challenging Tomb Raider game.

The Last of Us, Inc.

"As they trek across a post-pandemic Monstropolis, Kitty and Boo will encounter different factions of survivors that have each found a unique way of dealing with infected monsters, the lack of laughter, and the threat of other survivors." It's fascinating just how amazing that synopsis sounds.

Metal Gear Carl

Carl from Pixar's Up as Snake from Metal Gear Solid is pretty much the perfect remix. Can you imagine little old man Carl running around in a stealthy getup, doing tactical maneuvers and partaking in worldwide espionage equipped with firearms and other gadgets? I can, and it's kind of the best thing.

Buzz in Mass Effect? Merida in Tomb Raider?! These PIXAR Video Game Character Mashups Are Brilliant!

1:37 AM

While Disney movies do have their dark moments, no one could ever accuse them of being an all out horror fest. However, it seems like artist Rodolfo Loaiza Ontiveros has decided that maybe that's exactly what our fave Disney movies should have been!

The artist took it upon himself to create images in which some of cinema's greatest villains have wandered right into a Disney movie, and personally I think he's nailed it! Take a look at these images, but be warned, you may not be able to rewatch these Disney classics without worrying about a scary special guest making an appearance:

Snow White becomes Jason's next victim

After happening upon the murder site of several of her woodland friends, Snow White looked up in time to see Jason Voorhees coming at her with a sharp knife and an unstoppable appetite for murder.

Ariel is wooed by the swamp thing

Playing in the reeds proved to be a big mistake for Ariel as the swamp thing found her and snatched her up. I'm not sure whether or not she has just passed out from the shock of what she saw, or if, in fact, she was offed by the monster.

Catwoman stops by for some milk

She may look sweet and innocent alongside the three cute kitten siblings from the Aristocats, but behind all that is a supervillain with an ulterior motive. Watch out kitties!

Snow White is offered a drink of Moloko Plus

Watch out Snow White, that may look like an innocent glass of milk, but Alex DeLarge isn't one to go around just offering up ice cold glasses of milk. Known to rob, rape and assault innocent people for his own sick amusement he's definitely no prince.

The Joker sizes up Rapunzel's face

Rapunzel is known for being an innocent young lady but she'd better watch out hanging with terrible influences like the Joker, he's definitely not quite as charmed by her personality as the locals at the Snuggly Duckling.

Freddy watched over Sleeping Beauty

Ugh, this one is definitely the creepiest! At least the others are aware that someone else is nearby, but poor old Sleeping Beauty is unaware and defenseless as Freddy Krueger sneaks up with his razor sharp fingers at the ready.

Check Out What Happens When Disney Meets Some of Cinema's Biggest Villains!

12:16 AM

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

There's no denying that I love Disney, and while this lovely company full of innovators was formative influence in my life, that's not to say that they didn't also set me up for some massive disappointments from life. While I did spend some time lamenting the severe lack of fairy godmothers, anthropomorphic animal sidekicks, and princes to sweep me off my feet, my biggest Disney letdown came from the unrealistic hair expectations.

I mean, hello? Hair like this just does not exist.

Yeah, Disney, I've got a pretty unruly mop of hair and I can tell you that that's not how any of this works. Where are all the princesses that struggle to find their natural part?

Luckily, our hair envy can be (somewhat) put to rest thanks to Loryn Brant from Buzzfeed! She's edited some images of Disney Princesses and made them look much more relatable and attainable.

Ariel, The Little Mermaid

This is just not the case. Do mermaids have some kind of power that makes their hair waterproof? Perhaps. But if she had realistic hair problems like the rest of us, then we know that this just isn't the case.

Walt Disney Studios/Loryn Brantz/BuzzFeed

That has never happened to anyone in the history of time. Ariel's hair would be a soppy, wet mess. Finally, the truth comes out!

Belle, Beauty and the Beast

Belle's hair is tied up in a pretty decent little ponytail, but if you've ever tied your hair in a bow you know that it's not going to hold in the wind.

Unless she's wearing a ton of hairspray, which I'm guessing she's not in mid-1700s France, then the original Disney image is a freakin' farce.

Elsa, Frozen

Given Anna and Elsa's parent's hair color, I have a hard time imagining that her hair is naturally that blonde. Maybe when she was a little kid she was a total towhead, but the 21-year-old Elsa? Please.

Just try and tell me this queen doesn't use a bit of bleach. Maintaining hair that blonde is difficult and a very fine art. I'm not sure any of the residents of Arendelle and equipped to handle this type of situation. Give Elsa the roots, we know she has 'em.

**To clarify, I am aware that Elsa's icy powers give her hair like this. These are supposed to be funny and show the Princesses with realistic hair problems. Do some women have hair naturally this blonde? Of course! Is it considered commonplace? Not really. Commenting that her hair is possible, isn't pointing out something novel or proving that you have more Disney knowledge than anyone else. Given that she's a cartoon character she can have whatever hair her animators want her to, but there's really no fun in that! These are supposed to be jokes.

Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow rocks a short bob so, all in all, not the most difficult hairstyle to maintain. But that doesn't mean that it sits perfectly atop her head at all times.

Let's be honest, this is a slightly more realistic look for Snow. Frizzy flyaways are a very real problem that not even Disney Princesses can escape.

Cinderella, Cinderella

Cinders, I see you in that nightgown and as we all know, this is not what bed head looks like! Unless your little birdie and mouse friends were keeping your hair perfectly intact whist you slept, this doesn't happen.

Yes! Now this is bed head. Personally, I like it even more than the original. Considering how much time she spends cleaning for her step-family, it's impressive that she would have any time at all to do her hair.

Mulan, Mulan

There is a tiny dragon named Mushu in this picture and it's still not the least-believable thing about it. It's the hair. Hair simply does not rest like this for most people, including some Asian women. So for those Asian women who don't always have the slickest hair, this one's for you!

Alright, maybe Mulan doesn't need to look like someone rubbed a balloon on her head, but maybe Mushu has some kind of electric charge to him? I'm not totally positive on how dragons work.

Jasmine, Aladdin

Now let's talk volume. I have pretty thick hair and I have friends with superthick hair, but even their hair would not stay this full and bouncy. Fans of Mean Girls might say that it's because her hair is so full of secrets, but I call BS on that.

Now that's a ponytail I can get onboard with. Bonus points to go Loryn for also fixing Aladdin's hair. Look at that hat he's wearing! There's no way his bangs could maintain that level of bounciness. Debunked.

Pocahontas, Pocahontas

Like Ariel's hair, I can say with absolute certainty that this is not how this would go down. Pocahontas is painting with the colors of a legit wind tunnel in this image. Plus, there's no way that those leaves would conveniently slip by her hair without getting stuck.

Yes! This is everything. Her hair is so in the way! And I know that this wouldn't be the case, but if Pocahontas was wearing any lipgoss...well, game over, man.

Of course, this isn't always the case. Hair has been getting more realistic, especially in some of the newer movies.

Unmanageable locks and bed head galore! All is forgiven, Disney. Heck, you know I can never stay mad at you.

Disney Princesses With Realistic Hair, For Once

10:51 PM

Will everyman and living legend Chris Pratt be adding a third mega franchise to his already impressive resume?

Disney just gained the rights to the Indiana Jones franchise in 2013, and nowDeadline is reporting that they're eying new leading man Pratt for the iconic role. If this turns out to be true, Star Lord will be grabbing the famous hat and whip for a whole new Earthbound adventure.

YES! THIS WOULD BE HUGE!

Don't pop that champagne too quickly, however. While this would be inspired casting and another excuse to see Chris Pratt plastered all over screens and billboards for another summer, this report is still very much in the rumor mill. With only one source and no comment from Disney yet, let's all take a collective breath and not get ahead of ourselves.

Okay, now that calm, rational thinking is out of the way, we can celebrate the simple prospect of this amazing idea. How awesome would it be to see Pratt follow up Jurassic World, The Magnificent Seven, and Guardians of the Galaxy 2with Indiana Jones 5? BEYOND AWESOME!

Now that this thought exists in my mind, there's pretty much nothing else I want more. Give me Indy Pratt or give me death! Seriously, if this doesn't happen, you will find me somewhere mourning the loss of what could have been.

But, again, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

For now, let's anxiously await official word from Disney while dreaming about how great this would be. Do you think Harrison Ford is ready to give up the mantle? How do you feel about this casting rumor?

Will Chris Pratt be the Next Indiana Jones in Disney's Reboot?

10:16 PM

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